Soon, I graduate.

This morning we had a ‘senior meeting’ for the class of 2013, highlighting many important dates that are just on the horizon. This whole year, mini epiphanies of “Hey, I’m about to graduate…” sprang up constantly, and only now did it really hit home. Soon, us kids will enter the ‘real world’ (Actually, I hate using that term - it’s like we haven’t been living this whole time. But I can’t think of anything more accurate.) and needless to say, I could not be more excited.

I’ve lived in this suburbia for far too long, and although I’m not going to a college that’s more than 5 miles from my house, the college I am attending has a bountiful student abroad program. That excites me like no other. I’m going to be taking advantage of that as much as possible. I see many of my friends heading off to other states, or even just a couple hours away, but somehow I am able to justify my staying here. I’m proud to say there is a grand chance of me leaving college with less than 20,000 dollars in debt (Possibly only 10.) and that puts me in such a golden position for when I graduate. I will be able to get out of here as quickly as possible; to where, I don’t even care at this point. The notion is vague, but it is out there, and I will cross that bridge when I am able.

Despite my insatiable urge to travel, I will miss this quaint community of people that have grown up together. The change is desperately needed, but it’s like losing a close albeit dramatic family.

I have 18 days left of my senior year. That’s astounding.

So right now in English we’re doing existentialism. I actually find it really interesting. Except, some of the ideas are too… indifferent for me. I can see the logic behind them, I guess I’m just not existentialist enough to want to embrace them.

For instance, we had to read The Stranger  by Albert Camus, and for our second book we were allowed to choose from a select few. I chose Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre, and boy… it is hard to finish. The Stranger, however, I was able to get through most of (I just have no time between two jobs to get through these assignments on time anymore…) but the main character, Meursault, seemed devoid of any deep emotion. It irritated me and made be pretty uncomfortable to see someone so uncaring. I think I’m looking at it in the completely wrong light from how Albert wanted people to read it… but that is how it comes across to me. Sartre sort of gets his point across is a more abstract way… the futility and meaningless of human existence, as well as our actions and social structures we have enclosed ourselves in. Both stories took a lot of time peering into an ‘average’ persons life, and seeing how we box ourselves into situations and careers and relationships. That I can see clearly, and that I am quite interested in.

Wasn’t really taking this post anywhere significant, mostly thinking about this reduction I have to write and how I’m procrastinating doing it.